Surgery Update: Day 26

Tomorrow marks four weeks from Sadie's TightRope surgery. I went for a check-up with Dr. D. I was hoping he'd be impressed with the improvements in the hole. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Dr. V faxed him the information from Dr. Cook, about not putting in a drain tube, so he was aware that we didn't do that last week. He just said that he'll follow whatever Dr. V would like for Sadie's treatment to be. However, he didn't think that it was any better than last week. The hole is closing up from the outside, but it is still just as big on the inside and still seeping fluid. He was again concerned if the outside healed up too soon, we would have issues with the fluid building up on the inside.

Sadie's hip area is very noticeably bony and scrawny. I mentioned this to Doug yesterday. Dr. D says it is because she has lost so much muscle in that leg. It is just skin and bone, no muscle. That is also why she absolutely WILL NOT put weight on the leg. She just hops around on three legs and never sets down the bum leg. When she stands straight, the hurt leg just limply hangs there, with the toe slightly turned in.

Dr. D warned me that this is not good. The hole is still there, and not healing. We can't start the highly recommended water therapy until the hole is closed. And the longer we go with her not using it, the more we risk permanent disuse. (Yeah, I still don't know how therapeutic water therapy would be with my massively aqua-phobic Dobie, but we've GOT to make it work for her. There's no choice. It's the best thing for her rehabilitation.)

Even if she were to heal up fine, he is concerned that having not used the leg in so long, she will not go back to using it. In his experience, that is the case. He pretty much said that we should not expect her to get back to 100%, even if everything goes well from here on out. He tried to prepare me for the possibility that she may never use the leg again.

But he also said that maybe she will start improving very soon and we'll be able to start therapy and get some usable back. He doesn't know. Nobody knows. I certainly don't know! He's going to call the therapist and let me know what she thinks.

I got into the car with the girls and just started bawling. Again. I've shed so many tears over this dog! I thought that we were doing better, but now I just don't know.

I realize that I'm not really "giving this to God" as Doug keeps reminding me to. I feel silly and selfish even asking others to pray, since this is orthopedic surgery on a DOG and really not important compared to all the crushing humanitarian issues in our world today. I don't know why, but I can't let it go. Then I think, what if this were one of my girls? How big of a mess would I be then? All my flaws of control and worry are totally being brought front and center through this situation. If Sadie's doing well, then I feel great. If we're getting bad reports, then my world is crashing down. That's how I feel right now.

We'll see what the rehab therapist has to say about her case and I go to see Dr. V on Wednesday. Should be interesting.